Assaultnbatt3ry's Motha Truckin' Blog

Different. He’s just different.

thedudeabides78 — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 22:57:33 +0000

Here is a NY Times article about our juggernaut. Although he is a dick, you gotta give him some props.

The first two paragraphs are hilarious.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/26/sports/football/26giants.html?_r=1&ref=sports

The Same Reaction I Usually Get When I Touch A Woman….

assaultnbatt3ry — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 18:46:04 +0000

I recommend watching all the way through……

http://mlb.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=9800589

Whatever it is, Don’t Fuck With it!

assaultnbatt3ry — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 23:20:27 +0000

Watch all the way through….I promise you wont be dissapointed

That Mortal Combat Short Film is So Hot Right Now…

assaultnbatt3ry — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 19:07:35 +0000

This is a short seven minute Mortal Kombat film by the guy who directed Fame. Yes, Fame. It’s a black, brutal look at the world of MK if it were set in some sort of plausible, non magical reality, and it’s meant to be a pitch for a feature film, hence appearances by recognizable faces like Michael Jai White and Jeri “Seven of Nine” Ryan. The video is blowing up the internet right now, which means that hopefully this is the vision we will see brought to life at some point. Lets just hope they make it into an actual movie that doesn’t suck like the last two.

My First Music Video Appearance

assaultnbatt3ry — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 06:29:59 +0000

So this is random but about a month ago I was spending a gorgeous day out in Central Park with some chickenhead I had been screwing. We were laying out in one of the big fields (Sheeps Meadow) in the middle of the park, around 5:30 in the afternoon when we notice 4 guys in monkey suits accompanied but 5 or six people carrying instruments/equipment. Anyway, we were about to leave but decided to go over and see what the the monkeys and co. were up to. We head over to where they had settled, as many other people had begun to do, and watch as the crew sets up a drumset and pulls out all this camera/video equipment. It doesn’t take me too long to realize that this is about to become a set for a music video.

As a few more people come over to gawk, a man who seems to be in charge asks the gathering people if any one wanted to volunteer to be in the video. Of course the chick and I are like, “Shit yeah” so we basically spent the next 45 minutes dancing with these monkees while their song played out through some speakers that had been set up.

My fellow dancers and I were all given kazoos in hopes to make the scene look even crazier than it already was… I mean, there was a shirtless/swole ass midget, a slutty looking chick in a bikini(who hogs most of the camera), a dude in a 1920′s bathing suit doing squat thrust, and even moms holding babies…gotta love New Yorkers. Despite my personal frustration for barely appearing in the video, It was alot of fun and everyone seemed to really have a good time. You can spot me a few quick times (wearing a green shirt with a black hat and ballin’ shades) in the background dancing like an idiot with a silly kazoo in my mouth. The first is at the :17 second mark and is almost impossible to catch because i’m right behind the slut with huge tits who is gonna automatically draw your eye the first few times you watch. The second time at the 2:35 mark when I’m twisting out like Chubby Checker. Anyway, the band is called Julius C and they were all cool ass dudes so if you like the song, I recommend hitting up their myspace page.

I also put an extra video up that I shot on my cell phone of the band getting some shots before all the dancers joined in.

P.S. – I swear to Tom Cruise that If I hadn’t been there with that chick that day, I could have easily scored with the tiarra/bikini slut in the video cause she was eyeing my shit up and down. Im dead ass serious. She was hungry for my shit like a shark in a crowded wave pool…….Ahh, Fuck It!

-Your Exquisite Enabler,

AssaultNBatt3ry

“Show Me That Smile Again” :)

assaultnbatt3ry — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 00:55:03 +0000

So I was watching T.V. today and after doin some channel surfing, came across one of my favorite childhood shows, Growing Pains. Aside from the Tanners, Winslos, and the Cosby families, the Seaver family was all but my favorite t.v. family. Anyway it reminded me of one of my favorite “quick laugh” moments from one of my new favorite tv families the Griffins in Family Guy. I don’t know why but every time I hear Clevelands part in this clip, I can’t stop laughing until a little pee comes out….So the name of the song is perfect for its remedy. Enjoy!

Sir Ben Kingsley auditioning for Transformers 3

grundlemagic — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 12:12:34 +0000

http://www.slashfilm.com/2010/06/02/lol-ben-kingsley-submits-video-audition-for-transformers-3/

The Evolution of Nic Cage’s Outstanding Hair

assaultnbatt3ry — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 01:43:04 +0000

This wonderful creation chronicles Nic Cages hair journey from his career’s start to present day. I can get about half of them and dare anyone to get every single one correct (without cheating of course). The first one to guess all of them right will win a mystery prize. I’m serious, I will actually give you a reward for your accurate participation…..may the best Nic Cage admirer win.

Swagtastic!

assaultnbatt3ry — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 18:53:35 +0000

Whomever came up with this marketing idea from Toyota deserves two high fives and a forty because I cant get this song out of my head. Best line of the song is hard to hear but they both say …”Singing Farmer in the Dell in perfect harmony!” Enjoy!

Young Goddess of Drums Kicks Ass

assaultnbatt3ry — Mon, 24 May 2010 23:33:54 +0000

Stummbled across this little web gem today and had to post it. Playing the drums since age 5, Japaneese badass Senri Kawaguchi (now 13), is certain to become a star one day if she keeps banging those drums like she does in this video. If you can stomach the terrible song that she is drumming too, I recommend watching it all the way through because she never slows down or misses a beat. I think the most amazing part is how effortless she looks throughout the whole performance. She never looks like she has to concentrate too hard all while flashing some smiles at the camera. You go girl!

I looked her up on youtube and she has many videos including some sick nasty drum solos so if you want to hear more, check her out.